It's amazing how my kids can bring me to tears. I call them happy tears. They are tears of joy that bolt through my heart faster than Cupid's arrow. There is no monetary value that can hold up to homemade cards, coupons for mom, M-O-M acrostic poems and the like.
Suddenly, all my fault finding in my parenting skills and feeling of inadequacy are washed clean by the tender words of affection and appreciation from the ones that hold the pulse of my heart in their bosoms.
This Mother's Day is one I choose to remember and live each day because if you let my kids tell it I am the M ost O utstanding M om!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Help! My child is being labeled as a "bad kid"
Been there, living it out... My two cents: AS FOR SCHOOL.... Yes, never make exceptions to their existing rules. Your voice to your child is to follow the rules, least you'll have a child thinking rules are meant to be ignored or he is not responsible for his actions. But, DO sit in and observe to make note of things your child IS doing correctly in class to give him as positive feedback. That is usually missed by the teachers since at that point they usually don't see the positives.
Get the school's handbook and know the rules, go to TEA website and know your rights under Texas Education Codes. When you say behavior issue, look on TEA's site to see what Texas considers as a behavior issue. You will be surprised and will realize usually you child's teacher is poorly trained in classroom management and is playing the behavior issue card to cover up her lack of creativity or to save her professional pride.
Breakdown your child's classroom rules to make sure if your child broke one it really was a rule and not her interpretation or ad lib to the situation. In younger kids they get that it's either right or wrong.. they know that. It's when we as experienced adults interpret an inner thought process for someone and determine they broke a rule is when it become problematic. Call the teacher out on that and suggest she uses those times as teachable moments. And, that you would love to know those moments so you can have more role play at home so your child can better work out his thought process (i.e... working on his conscience). If the teachers would handle what they perceive as behavior issues, but are really not, as teachable moments as I just discuss it would not tear our kids down and strip their self esteem. I would STRONGLY encourage you to go with your mother's intuition if you feel like a teacher or teachers or staff are sending signals or creating an ambiance that your child is bad child. DO NOT TOLERATE it at all. Discuss with the teacher areas that are combed over with a Behavior Issue comb and try to get them to see the teachable moment.
Call them out on subtle, negative actions regarding your child that are displayed to other staff members and children. It will spread like a wildfire if you don't. Then other teachers will see you child from a clouded lens and single them out first for any incident involving behavior issues ( walking to a specials class, in the lunchroom, on the playground). Even your child's peers will get the message and they will blame him for the same behavior they too have on playground but because of what they SEE modeled from teachers and they will tell on him. The REAL bottom line on that issue with any child is that- THAT teacher is not properly skilled to deal with EDUCATION and DISCIPLINE with your child or any child for that matter. Your child is a WHOLE package and NEVER allow a teacher to discuss a behavior issue with you without addressing the WHOLE the child. A meeting not dealing with the whole child is ALWAYS staked up to label your child and is only self serving and redeeming for the teacher. Please be in tuned to the situation, if your child's teacher cannot say anything positive or redeeming about your child WITHOUT a condensing overture TAKE NOTE!!! When dealing with a disconnected teacher only administrative intervention will help change or monitor. As my mother always told me, "Everybody has to answer to somebody." Another point to discuss with your child's teacher: How are they engaging your child. I'm not talking about they all get a worksheet or assignment and need to ask for help if they need it. A teacher like this is NOT engaging in her students. So when your child is NOT doing their assignment in that teacher's estimation they are a behavior issue. Watchout for that type of coverup by teachers. A teacher that is engaged in her students will be able to tell you WHY was your student not doing his work. Ask the questions! Be your child's advocate!
Be your child's advocate can't be stressed enough. Having worked as a paraprofessional in the classroom in an Educational environment I have seen teachers purposely ignore a child they did not want to deal with, once after subbing in a 1st Grade classroom, I then gave my account of the day to the child's teacher of him needing extra help with learning how to count money the teacher told me, "Oh, I know, He just can't get it", I have seen teachers belittle a child for behavior in front of classmates and parade them around with them all day all the while telling everyone, "This is my special child". Even the kids, who were within hearing distance understood the negative double meaning. A teacher will NEVER tell you they treat your child or other children this way. Listen to your child and be his advocate! General speaking, you probably already know the teachers that genuinely care and are engaged.
WITH THE CHILD: Then, on the areas you do see that need improvement. During a one on one playtime, family outing or play (usually times to display patience, cooperation and empathy) remind EVERYONE that you are looking for (patience, cooperation, and empathy). It is good for you to you point out when you and your husband are modeling patience, cooperation and empathy as well. In our experience those 3 things are the things that manifest in teenage life as bitters,,, no DAGGERS! in a child who's self esteem has been chipped away from being labeled as a "bad kid" or behavior problem kid!
Patience, Cooperation and EMPATHY!
Monday, February 9, 2009
A Prodigal Child
It's like the anticipated impact of a car spinning out of control toward you on a rainy day. You can feel the burden of the impact in your chest as all the motions, though quick, seem to be moving in slow motion. Your heart pounds in against your chest. The full impact of car has not yet been felt, but you can see, and therefore you mentally and physically brace yourself for the excruiating pain that is forthcoming.
A mother's pain is like that spinning car. All the feelings and emotions are real as your stomach slowly starts to knot up into a thousand balls and your body wanes from the emotional turmoil. Your day vasilates between an operational reality and nonfunctional numbness as you ponder how could your child reject everything you have taught them.
You recount the days when you first felt a flutter in your stomach. That was a welcomed flutter; unlike the knots and numbness you now feel. You ask yourself over and over again, "How could this be happening". It's not death in the true sense of the word, but all the same it is a loss.
I'm referring to the loss of a relationship between a mother and her child. I do believe that as with death it is a mother's ultimate pain. It's a pain that afflicts many during the course of parenting. It's a pain that not many wish to talk about. It's a pain that only the Father above can take away.
Scriptural mediation during this time of growth are: Luke 15:24 (For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found), Proverbs 22:6 (Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it), Psalm 147:3 (He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds).
A mother's pain is like that spinning car. All the feelings and emotions are real as your stomach slowly starts to knot up into a thousand balls and your body wanes from the emotional turmoil. Your day vasilates between an operational reality and nonfunctional numbness as you ponder how could your child reject everything you have taught them.
You recount the days when you first felt a flutter in your stomach. That was a welcomed flutter; unlike the knots and numbness you now feel. You ask yourself over and over again, "How could this be happening". It's not death in the true sense of the word, but all the same it is a loss.
I'm referring to the loss of a relationship between a mother and her child. I do believe that as with death it is a mother's ultimate pain. It's a pain that afflicts many during the course of parenting. It's a pain that not many wish to talk about. It's a pain that only the Father above can take away.
Scriptural mediation during this time of growth are: Luke 15:24 (For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found), Proverbs 22:6 (Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it), Psalm 147:3 (He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds).
Speak To The Hand! My Faith Banner. My Jehovah Nissi
My Faith Banner. My Jehovah Nissi.
In the monthly devotional Journey, I was recently challenged by Beth Moore, a notable Christian author and speaker who talked of her practice of raising her hand as her shield of faith that represents her 5 statement pledge of faith. This made me think of another shield that has become quite common lately and quite possibly cultural to throw an opened hand up as if stopping traffic but often to stop an attack, attitude or other dissatisfaction coming from another person.
We all have seen the young girls with hands on their hips, jaws clenching up and down from Hubba Bubba, head cocked to one side, eyebrows arched and eyes down low. Yes, if you're old enough to remember Mel's Diner, you know the look when Mel was told, "Mel, kiss my grits." Or, maybe you're younger and you remember Martin and Gina on the Martin show holding up the well understood, "Speak to the Hand" offering.
At any rate, it was to ward off the unwanted with non verbal communication. That "speak to the hand" embodied all the commentary and attitude needed to place a shield between you and the offender. A shield of protection if you will. A silent, yet effective tool of defense.
Adopting the efficacy of this tool, Beth Moore assigns each digit on the hand a scripture for defense. The reader's challenge, my challenge was to personalize my new tool with meaningful and principle driven scriptures that would resonant in my soul and affirm my faith.
In my searching I found a name of God that had the resonance I was searching for, Jehovah Nissi, my banner- Exodus 17:15. Exodus 17:15 says that Moses built an alter after their defeat of Amalek and named it, " The Lord is my banner." Now this affirmation came centuries before me. Actually, Moses had been using the hand well before it became cliche. Scripture says that when Moses' hands grew weary they were held up by Aaron, his brother-in-law, and Hur until the going down of the sun until Amalek was defeated. Wherever Moses' hands were up Isreal prevailed and whenever Moses' hands were lowered Amalek prevailed- Exodus 17:11-13. What a wonderful use for the hand. God's Word spoke loud and clear with the use of Moses's hands.
As stated earlier, Beth Moore's 2002 model was a challenge to me as I searched for my banner with meaningful and principle driven scriptures to create my own 5 statement pledge of faith using the following model.
The 1st statement: "God is who He says He is"
The 2nd statement: "God can do what He says He can do"
The 3rd statement: "I am who God says that I am"
The 4th statement: "I can do all things through Christ"
The 5th statement: "God's Word is alive and active in me"
The Bible references that I chose to reflect on when I have to hold up the "Speak to the Hand" tool are ones that I try to practice daily. While I don't always get it right. I know that it is a process. A process in my belief, my faith and total trust in God. A process that my husband, my church family, my BSF fellowship and friends will come to me and hold my hands up when I too become weary.
Cyndy's 5 Statement Pledge with Living Words
The 1st statement: "God is who He says He is" (You shall have no other gods before me)
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Deuteronomy 6:4
"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. Matthew 22:36-38
The 2nd statement: "God can do what He says He can do"
The 3rd statement: "I am who God says that I am"
But you are a chosen race, a royal, priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. I Peter 2:9
The 4th statement: "I can do all things through Christ"
I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
The 5th statement: "God's Word is alive and active in me"
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart Hebrews 4:12
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us. Ephesians 3:20
What will your 5 statement pledge be?
What language are you fluent in?
I Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
Recently I have had some communication issues with someone very close to me. It just seemed that at every opportunity for harmony there was a battle. It's quite funny because the battle never seemed to directed at me personally, but it was tension nonetheless.
Well, yesterday there was true harmony and heartfelt communication. I immediately scanned the environment and happenings all around us hoping to duplicate it for the future. It seemed too simple, too trivial. It was all about showing love.
This morning my daily devotion was on I Corinthians 13. We all know this one. It's the love chapter. It's one I had studied in depth with my husband and Pastor Skepple during our premarital counseling. For some reason, I'm not sure of the origin of my thoughts, I'd only made the connection of this chapter in my relation with my husband. But, the connection with those outside my marriage didn't always experience this unconditional love that I was commanded to express. How did I miss the importance of this unconditional love with others.
I thank my Lord and Savior for providing a universal language that we should all be fluent in, and with all people. I also thank Him for making the connection with events of yesterday with my daily reading today. God is so timely.
My unfavorable situation with my love one changed yesterday with a simle hug. Yes, it was simple and seemingly trivial at the time. However, it was just what I was commanded to do and the relationship is all the better for it.
Hugs are universal. This language is understood and accepted by all.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
Recently I have had some communication issues with someone very close to me. It just seemed that at every opportunity for harmony there was a battle. It's quite funny because the battle never seemed to directed at me personally, but it was tension nonetheless.
Well, yesterday there was true harmony and heartfelt communication. I immediately scanned the environment and happenings all around us hoping to duplicate it for the future. It seemed too simple, too trivial. It was all about showing love.
This morning my daily devotion was on I Corinthians 13. We all know this one. It's the love chapter. It's one I had studied in depth with my husband and Pastor Skepple during our premarital counseling. For some reason, I'm not sure of the origin of my thoughts, I'd only made the connection of this chapter in my relation with my husband. But, the connection with those outside my marriage didn't always experience this unconditional love that I was commanded to express. How did I miss the importance of this unconditional love with others.
I thank my Lord and Savior for providing a universal language that we should all be fluent in, and with all people. I also thank Him for making the connection with events of yesterday with my daily reading today. God is so timely.
My unfavorable situation with my love one changed yesterday with a simle hug. Yes, it was simple and seemingly trivial at the time. However, it was just what I was commanded to do and the relationship is all the better for it.
Hugs are universal. This language is understood and accepted by all.
Monday, November 5, 2007
His House Flooded
This morning, my 4yo noticed a table top plastic doll house that I had stored in the laundry room. So, he quickly informed me what he desired his morning playtime to include... the playhouse.
Mondays are Co Op days and very busy so I promised I would pull it down once we returned from my weekly volunteer duty at the Co Op. That promise allowed him to be very content. He didn't mentioned it again until after we had returned home. This in itself is major maturity in contentment for my 4yo. He usually will whine or ask repeatedly hoping for instant satisfaction.
So, as promised I retrieved the doll house and he played with it until naptime. Later on that evening during cleanup he asked if he could take a bath with the doll house. Remembering that I had last seen the tub still with toys and wash towel never put away my first thought was NO.
But my curiosity had me and I had to ask him, "Why do you want to take a bath with the doll house?" In the most matter of fact, boyish explorative voice he replied, "I want to have the house flood". To which I exclaimed, "Wow, you're going to make the house flood... How cool", "Yes, you may bathe with the doll house". By now I wanted to see the house flood too.
My 4yo seems to always be looking for ways to explain and study for himself things he sees on the news, reads in books or simply just imagines with his own creativity. Seeing things through the eyes of a 4yo is amazing.
Mondays are Co Op days and very busy so I promised I would pull it down once we returned from my weekly volunteer duty at the Co Op. That promise allowed him to be very content. He didn't mentioned it again until after we had returned home. This in itself is major maturity in contentment for my 4yo. He usually will whine or ask repeatedly hoping for instant satisfaction.
So, as promised I retrieved the doll house and he played with it until naptime. Later on that evening during cleanup he asked if he could take a bath with the doll house. Remembering that I had last seen the tub still with toys and wash towel never put away my first thought was NO.
But my curiosity had me and I had to ask him, "Why do you want to take a bath with the doll house?" In the most matter of fact, boyish explorative voice he replied, "I want to have the house flood". To which I exclaimed, "Wow, you're going to make the house flood... How cool", "Yes, you may bathe with the doll house". By now I wanted to see the house flood too.
My 4yo seems to always be looking for ways to explain and study for himself things he sees on the news, reads in books or simply just imagines with his own creativity. Seeing things through the eyes of a 4yo is amazing.
Rock, Paper, Scissor
I thought we could manage with sharing one tube of toothpaste until payday which by my calculations would help out with the budget...(Wow, it saved $4.50 for Tom's Natural Toothpaste). So this morning while I was dashing into my kids bathroom to use the only tube of toothpaste in house I was able to witness a ritual my 13yo and 7yo had been doing for some time now and I was pleasantly surprised and proud of them.
I had known for awhile now that I had not heard any fussing between the two of them for weeks about who got to the bathroom first. I never knew the reason but accepted the calm mornings as I held my breath. It was a welcomed change to the usual morning madness.
Well, this morning on my way out of their bathroom both of them reach the door at the same time but instead of the usual pushing or whining out, "I got here first", I heard my 13yo say with eyes still waking up, "Paper, Rock, Scissors". Then, without another word said my 7yo, her too with eyes still waking up, in unision with the 13yo began to form their hands to either Paper, Rock, Scissors.
My daughter won and so my son said two out of three. They proceeded to shake their hands to Paper, Rock, Scissors for two more rounds. My daughter won two out of three and quietly entered into the bathroom and closed the door. No other words were spoken. My son went back to his room to snooze until she came out.
I think I woke up the reminder of the sleeping eyes in the house as I told them how proud I was of them of how they had worked out the morning bathroom problem. They both looked at me with expressions that said every bit of, "Mom, we got it under control".
I thank God for both of their maturity in their roles of big brother, little sister as well as learning how to resolve conflict. It is truly a step to contentment and peace.
I would also love to think that the scriptures that I have written, and illustrated for the 4yo, have been hidden in their hearts.
I had known for awhile now that I had not heard any fussing between the two of them for weeks about who got to the bathroom first. I never knew the reason but accepted the calm mornings as I held my breath. It was a welcomed change to the usual morning madness.
Well, this morning on my way out of their bathroom both of them reach the door at the same time but instead of the usual pushing or whining out, "I got here first", I heard my 13yo say with eyes still waking up, "Paper, Rock, Scissors". Then, without another word said my 7yo, her too with eyes still waking up, in unision with the 13yo began to form their hands to either Paper, Rock, Scissors.
My daughter won and so my son said two out of three. They proceeded to shake their hands to Paper, Rock, Scissors for two more rounds. My daughter won two out of three and quietly entered into the bathroom and closed the door. No other words were spoken. My son went back to his room to snooze until she came out.
I think I woke up the reminder of the sleeping eyes in the house as I told them how proud I was of them of how they had worked out the morning bathroom problem. They both looked at me with expressions that said every bit of, "Mom, we got it under control".
I thank God for both of their maturity in their roles of big brother, little sister as well as learning how to resolve conflict. It is truly a step to contentment and peace.
I would also love to think that the scriptures that I have written, and illustrated for the 4yo, have been hidden in their hearts.
Proverbs 15
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Why Am I Always on the Go?
This is a question that I just can't answer with one simple response.
Take for instance, today as a good example. As I sit here typing this post I'm ever reminded of the time with each typing stroke. It's 5:33pm and we need to be at soccer practice at 6:00pm.
I want to post. I have so much to post! I just don't have the time.
Okay, I'm going to do the responsible thing and gather the kids, water bottles and yes, even the dog and head out to practice. On the go again....
Maybe I'll be able to post tonight after mopping the floors and cleaning the bathrooms.
Take for instance, today as a good example. As I sit here typing this post I'm ever reminded of the time with each typing stroke. It's 5:33pm and we need to be at soccer practice at 6:00pm.
I want to post. I have so much to post! I just don't have the time.
Okay, I'm going to do the responsible thing and gather the kids, water bottles and yes, even the dog and head out to practice. On the go again....
Maybe I'll be able to post tonight after mopping the floors and cleaning the bathrooms.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Toy guns and Swords
I'm really loving homeschooling my 4 and 13 yo sons. We started our history unit in the Medieval Period and naturally the boys took to the idea of using swords in their playtime together.
We established some ground rules and gave them noodles cut in half. They have a cross between medieval battles and some sort of Asian maritial art dual complete with courtesy bowing and round -house kicks.
Boys will truly be boys. I love to see my kids enjoying each other's company and having good natured fun. It was what my 13 yo asked me next that I wasn't sure I was ready for.
They now wanted to play with a cap gun that was given to my 13yo by a relative. I took a deep breath and realized their morning had already been full of experiments. They had frozen water balloons and melted them with various ideas that came to their mind. They had used their computer time to team up to beat the enemy. Now, they wanted to play with the cap gun outside.
My first reaction was, " No! we don't play with guns. They hurt people." Like swords don't hurt. Boy did I feel the big hypocrite veil coming down across my face.
I agreed to let them play after laying down the rules for their play. They understood and off they went... never out of my critiquing sight. They each very methodically following the rules shot a couple of rounds of caps and then it was over. Yes, that was it. The whole experience of their play took less time then it took for me to decide to let them play with the cap gun and give them the rules. Wow!
Being somewhat experienced in these parenting thing, I truly believe that if I had taken a different course in letting them explore this natural boyish activity their interest for the forbidden could have taken a whole different path.
Do I believe that I have allowed an evil and desensitized them to the dangers of guns? No way. As a parent, it is my duty to daily train then in all areas of life and this was one lesson on one day. It was also a day of fun for two brothers ages 13 and 4 who also learned how to play together using courtesies, respect and lots of TLC toward each other.
We established some ground rules and gave them noodles cut in half. They have a cross between medieval battles and some sort of Asian maritial art dual complete with courtesy bowing and round -house kicks.
Boys will truly be boys. I love to see my kids enjoying each other's company and having good natured fun. It was what my 13 yo asked me next that I wasn't sure I was ready for.
They now wanted to play with a cap gun that was given to my 13yo by a relative. I took a deep breath and realized their morning had already been full of experiments. They had frozen water balloons and melted them with various ideas that came to their mind. They had used their computer time to team up to beat the enemy. Now, they wanted to play with the cap gun outside.
My first reaction was, " No! we don't play with guns. They hurt people." Like swords don't hurt. Boy did I feel the big hypocrite veil coming down across my face.
I agreed to let them play after laying down the rules for their play. They understood and off they went... never out of my critiquing sight. They each very methodically following the rules shot a couple of rounds of caps and then it was over. Yes, that was it. The whole experience of their play took less time then it took for me to decide to let them play with the cap gun and give them the rules. Wow!
Being somewhat experienced in these parenting thing, I truly believe that if I had taken a different course in letting them explore this natural boyish activity their interest for the forbidden could have taken a whole different path.
Do I believe that I have allowed an evil and desensitized them to the dangers of guns? No way. As a parent, it is my duty to daily train then in all areas of life and this was one lesson on one day. It was also a day of fun for two brothers ages 13 and 4 who also learned how to play together using courtesies, respect and lots of TLC toward each other.
Monday, August 27, 2007
First Day of Homeschooling
Today was the first day of homeschooling with my 13 year old, and two 4 year olds. All the planning and preparation really helped keep things flowing as I shuffled back and forth between them.
Upon reading my devotion on 1 Corinthians 13 this morning I had redirected my thought pattern from expecting poor results from my 13 year old who did not want to be homeschooled to a more loving thought of "love believes, love hopes and love endures all things". Through the power of the Holy Spirit I saw my hopes and beliefs what how wonderful this situation could be become a reality.
The most cherished memory from today was watching my normally too busy teenager pitch baseballs to my 4 year old as he loved every minute of playing baseball with his big brother. It was priceless. The memory of me also pitching balls to both boys in the middle of a "school day" is equally priceless.
My 13 year old just informed me that he has cleaned his area and turned in all his work. I off to grading. I love it.
Upon reading my devotion on 1 Corinthians 13 this morning I had redirected my thought pattern from expecting poor results from my 13 year old who did not want to be homeschooled to a more loving thought of "love believes, love hopes and love endures all things". Through the power of the Holy Spirit I saw my hopes and beliefs what how wonderful this situation could be become a reality.
The most cherished memory from today was watching my normally too busy teenager pitch baseballs to my 4 year old as he loved every minute of playing baseball with his big brother. It was priceless. The memory of me also pitching balls to both boys in the middle of a "school day" is equally priceless.
My 13 year old just informed me that he has cleaned his area and turned in all his work. I off to grading. I love it.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Grammy's Homemade Curriculum
Recycled Curriculum- Preschool
My mama has been a wealth of information. She is usually on the road driving her 18-wheeler across 48 contiguous states. But, this week she docked at our house for a week with her grandkids. We all love it when Mama stays over.
Oh course the children love Grammy's visits because they get to ignore all the rules with Grammy coming to their defense. The added perk to us is that my husband and I love the breaks she allows us.
During this visit she has already given me tips on baking bread, handling a teenager and as recent as last night, "Grammy's Homemade Curriculum".
She asked me if she could cut out pictures from an old Good Housekeeping magazine. I said, "sure", thinking she was bored. It is not unusual for her to whip out paper dolls and make them dance on the wall using a flashlight. The children love her spontaneity just as much as my brother and I did years ago.
I sat on the sofa with the ABEKA Little Readers going over book number four with my four year old. He was pleased that he could show off to Grammy as he read the consonant/vowel blends and later three letter words near the end of the book. He finished and joined Grammy on the floor to glue the pictures she had cut out of the magazine onto plain copy paper. They glued pictures on the paper that was divided into sections.
Then in the casual way she does most everything, she pulled out these labels that she made with a colored marker she had my son get her earlier and starting holding them up to him and asking him to find the picture that matched the label. I'm watching the whole thing. He does it!
But wait, this is not a package curriculum. This is not following the order of teaching or rules of letter recognition with a preschooler. Some of the labels are even four letter words. Her words, I still hear, "he's ready". Yes, he was ready.
My kids love the old fashioned way I try to do many things around our home. They have coined a phrase for everything I do, "Mama's Homemade". It was only fitting to call was my mom did as, "Grammy's Homemade Curriculum". Umm, so that's where I get it from.
My mama has been a wealth of information. She is usually on the road driving her 18-wheeler across 48 contiguous states. But, this week she docked at our house for a week with her grandkids. We all love it when Mama stays over.
Oh course the children love Grammy's visits because they get to ignore all the rules with Grammy coming to their defense. The added perk to us is that my husband and I love the breaks she allows us.
During this visit she has already given me tips on baking bread, handling a teenager and as recent as last night, "Grammy's Homemade Curriculum".
She asked me if she could cut out pictures from an old Good Housekeeping magazine. I said, "sure", thinking she was bored. It is not unusual for her to whip out paper dolls and make them dance on the wall using a flashlight. The children love her spontaneity just as much as my brother and I did years ago.
I sat on the sofa with the ABEKA Little Readers going over book number four with my four year old. He was pleased that he could show off to Grammy as he read the consonant/vowel blends and later three letter words near the end of the book. He finished and joined Grammy on the floor to glue the pictures she had cut out of the magazine onto plain copy paper. They glued pictures on the paper that was divided into sections.
Then in the casual way she does most everything, she pulled out these labels that she made with a colored marker she had my son get her earlier and starting holding them up to him and asking him to find the picture that matched the label. I'm watching the whole thing. He does it!
But wait, this is not a package curriculum. This is not following the order of teaching or rules of letter recognition with a preschooler. Some of the labels are even four letter words. Her words, I still hear, "he's ready". Yes, he was ready.
My kids love the old fashioned way I try to do many things around our home. They have coined a phrase for everything I do, "Mama's Homemade". It was only fitting to call was my mom did as, "Grammy's Homemade Curriculum". Umm, so that's where I get it from.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
What language are you fluent in?
I Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
Recently I have had some communication issues with someone very close to me. It just seemed that at every opportunity for harmony there was a battle. It's quite funny because the battle never seemed to directed at me personally, but it was tension nonetheless.
Well, yesterday there was true harmony and heartfelt communication. I immediately scanned the environment and happenings all around us hoping to duplicate it for the future. It seemed too simple, too trivial. It was all about showing love.
This morning my daily devotion was on I Corinthians 13. We all know this one. It's the love chapter. It's one I had studied in depth with my husband and Pastor Skepple during our premarital counseling. For some reason, I'm not sure of the origin of my thoughts, I'd only made the connection of this chapter in my relation with my husband. But, the connection with those outside my marriage didn't always experience this unconditional love that I was commanded to express. How did I miss the importance of this unconditional love with others.
I thank my Lord and Savior for providing a universal language that we should all be fluent in, and with all people. I also thank Him for making the connection with events of yesterday with my daily reading today. God is so timely.
My unfavorable situation with my love one changed yesterday with a simle hug. Yes, it was simple and seemingly trivial at the time. However, it was just what I was commanded to do and the relationship is all the better for it.
Hugs are universal. This language is understood and accepted by all.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
Recently I have had some communication issues with someone very close to me. It just seemed that at every opportunity for harmony there was a battle. It's quite funny because the battle never seemed to directed at me personally, but it was tension nonetheless.
Well, yesterday there was true harmony and heartfelt communication. I immediately scanned the environment and happenings all around us hoping to duplicate it for the future. It seemed too simple, too trivial. It was all about showing love.
This morning my daily devotion was on I Corinthians 13. We all know this one. It's the love chapter. It's one I had studied in depth with my husband and Pastor Skepple during our premarital counseling. For some reason, I'm not sure of the origin of my thoughts, I'd only made the connection of this chapter in my relation with my husband. But, the connection with those outside my marriage didn't always experience this unconditional love that I was commanded to express. How did I miss the importance of this unconditional love with others.
I thank my Lord and Savior for providing a universal language that we should all be fluent in, and with all people. I also thank Him for making the connection with events of yesterday with my daily reading today. God is so timely.
My unfavorable situation with my love one changed yesterday with a simle hug. Yes, it was simple and seemingly trivial at the time. However, it was just what I was commanded to do and the relationship is all the better for it.
Hugs are universal. This language is understood and accepted by all.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Homeschool Planning
Here it is 20 days before school starts and I'm not anywhere near to being finished pulling together our homeschool plan for this year. I have many notes, notebooks started and several different schedules that I tote around awaiting a lull in my day. But it's not not done yet!
My goal this week is to complete six weeks of lesson plans for history (detailed with all the copies). Pray for me guys.
My goal this week is to complete six weeks of lesson plans for history (detailed with all the copies). Pray for me guys.
I'm baking bread
Okay, I've made two different batches of bread with a very simple recipe I got from a friend. The first time I was ecstatic. The bread actually looked and tasted like real bread.
Just yesterday I made my second try at loaf bread. My mom was here to offer guidance and this one tip that made all the difference in the world. She suggested I do my kneading on top of a large kitchen plastic bag instead of the counter top. Oh how much easier it made the task.
Moms truly do know best.
The second try with the easier kneading technique produced a really high loaf of bread. It was a very happy occasion. My mom and the rest of the family loved the bread and cinnamon rolls.
We used one loaf today to make a PB & J sandwiches for lunch.
Making bread is really fun!!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
My daughter belongs to Jesus
My daughter was baptized at our church this Sunday. She spent the last 3 weeks in baptismal class with other children all desiring to make their walk with Jesus known publicly.
Our hearts are leaping for joy at our daughter's decision. She's only seven and she already knows that she loves the Lord and that He loves her.
We invited family and friends over for cake and ice cream to help us celebrate. Written on her cake was a testimony to her faith. "She belongs to Jesus".
Our hearts are leaping for joy at our daughter's decision. She's only seven and she already knows that she loves the Lord and that He loves her.
We invited family and friends over for cake and ice cream to help us celebrate. Written on her cake was a testimony to her faith. "She belongs to Jesus".
Sagging Pants - Help a parent out
This post warranted a review.
The last two days have been intense to say the least. What in a person's right mind would allow them to go against all codes of decency and self-respect to want to wear Saggy pants. Boundaries have long been set in our home, but with the Summer visitation of my teenage nephew , my son must have had a case of amnesia when he put his clothes on this morning. Not that he needed any motivation to be defiant, it just gave a little oxygen to what has been smothering underneath.
Now, let me not paint a sordid picture of my nephew, he is very respectful, sweet young man. He takes AP classes, makes good grades, is on the football team and makes friends easily. He just happens to have that teenage problem of wanting to fit in, and in today's culture that means that he "sags". Oh, he wears Tall T's to cover it up, but it's still sagging to me. I mean, why could he just not roll one pant leg up, wear different color socks or the starched Levi's, an Oxford shirt with Penny loafers, like we did- those were true fads.
I'm convinced that this sagging thing is not just a fad, but instead, it's a totally affront to modesty, parental boundaries and just plain common sense. It is so powerful that it has branded the Hip Hop sub-culture as the only "dope" dress fare for the really cool or "baaadd".
It's more than just a fad, when in just about any city you can be pulled over by the police, "profiled" for what use to based on ethnicity, but now includes clothing attire. I have done my research here. My husband and I spoke with a police officer, on their beat, with our son while we were doing some shopping. We wanted our son to know how ethnicity, one's company and dress all play together in the eyes of the law. The police shared with our son, better than we could have ever tried to, how they "spot" out possible problem situations. The precursor was almost always how they were dressed or the combination of colors they were wearing. The Tall T's (some language) that my nephew obliviously wears, and my son desires to wear are known for concealing weapons or "five finger discounted" goods. Yes, I do say , it's more than a fad.
Be it an ill thought out fashion statement, my opinion, or as claimed by manufacturers, a result "social economics", it is not what we, as parents, desire of the young in our home to wear.
So, where do we go from here? Ideally I would think mass letters, emails or phone calls would be a good start. My research has determined that they are too large to respond to letters, emails or phone calls. No, that would not work. But, if we as parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends stopped giving these things as gifts or stopped allowing those that we love to buy these things we would be off to a much better start, with a greater economic impact. I feel we are as much to blame in the degrading of our young men as the manufacturers. For too long we have resigned to throwing up our hands and talking to the backsides of our young men as they walk away from our sound judgement. It has to start with us; start with code of dress for our families. We have got to set the boundaries and not cower down and allow those boundaries to erased by the culture.
Some things that may be helpful to ask your children in rhetorical questions or as interactive questions may start like this:
1. Where can you wear sagging pants after graduation?
2. Have you ever thought that someone could come and pull your pants to your ankles?
3. How do you like the stereotype that your sagging brings?; What are the stereotypes?
4. Is sagging okay if you have a tall T to cover the sagging?
5. Who do you think would be hired at a bank, Pepsi cola, Frito Lay, Walmart, Lowes, you, sagging or another boy your age, wearing fitted clothes?
6. How do feel wearing a fashion that originated as prison clothes with a definite gay connotation?
7. Did you know that you cannot enter a court room with saggy pants?
8. What gives you your self esteem? clothes, cell phone?
9. What does modesty mean to you?
10.How are you being identified?
11.When there has been a crime the perpetrator is identified by what he wore, had or physical characteristics. Do you understand what profiling is?
12. Did you know that in some cities, groups of people are profiled by the car they drive, what they have on or the activities they participate?
13. Have you ever stop to think what defines you? Is it your character , your dress, or what you own?
14.What does God want to define us?
15. In the statements, association brings about assimilation, or you are define by your peer group, both equal in meaning; What do they mean to you?
The last two days have been intense to say the least. What in a person's right mind would allow them to go against all codes of decency and self-respect to want to wear Saggy pants. Boundaries have long been set in our home, but with the Summer visitation of my teenage nephew , my son must have had a case of amnesia when he put his clothes on this morning. Not that he needed any motivation to be defiant, it just gave a little oxygen to what has been smothering underneath.
Now, let me not paint a sordid picture of my nephew, he is very respectful, sweet young man. He takes AP classes, makes good grades, is on the football team and makes friends easily. He just happens to have that teenage problem of wanting to fit in, and in today's culture that means that he "sags". Oh, he wears Tall T's to cover it up, but it's still sagging to me. I mean, why could he just not roll one pant leg up, wear different color socks or the starched Levi's, an Oxford shirt with Penny loafers, like we did- those were true fads.
I'm convinced that this sagging thing is not just a fad, but instead, it's a totally affront to modesty, parental boundaries and just plain common sense. It is so powerful that it has branded the Hip Hop sub-culture as the only "dope" dress fare for the really cool or "baaadd".
It's more than just a fad, when in just about any city you can be pulled over by the police, "profiled" for what use to based on ethnicity, but now includes clothing attire. I have done my research here. My husband and I spoke with a police officer, on their beat, with our son while we were doing some shopping. We wanted our son to know how ethnicity, one's company and dress all play together in the eyes of the law. The police shared with our son, better than we could have ever tried to, how they "spot" out possible problem situations. The precursor was almost always how they were dressed or the combination of colors they were wearing. The Tall T's (some language) that my nephew obliviously wears, and my son desires to wear are known for concealing weapons or "five finger discounted" goods. Yes, I do say , it's more than a fad.
Be it an ill thought out fashion statement, my opinion, or as claimed by manufacturers, a result "social economics", it is not what we, as parents, desire of the young in our home to wear.
So, where do we go from here? Ideally I would think mass letters, emails or phone calls would be a good start. My research has determined that they are too large to respond to letters, emails or phone calls. No, that would not work. But, if we as parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends stopped giving these things as gifts or stopped allowing those that we love to buy these things we would be off to a much better start, with a greater economic impact. I feel we are as much to blame in the degrading of our young men as the manufacturers. For too long we have resigned to throwing up our hands and talking to the backsides of our young men as they walk away from our sound judgement. It has to start with us; start with code of dress for our families. We have got to set the boundaries and not cower down and allow those boundaries to erased by the culture.
Some things that may be helpful to ask your children in rhetorical questions or as interactive questions may start like this:
1. Where can you wear sagging pants after graduation?
2. Have you ever thought that someone could come and pull your pants to your ankles?
3. How do you like the stereotype that your sagging brings?; What are the stereotypes?
4. Is sagging okay if you have a tall T to cover the sagging?
5. Who do you think would be hired at a bank, Pepsi cola, Frito Lay, Walmart, Lowes, you, sagging or another boy your age, wearing fitted clothes?
6. How do feel wearing a fashion that originated as prison clothes with a definite gay connotation?
7. Did you know that you cannot enter a court room with saggy pants?
8. What gives you your self esteem? clothes, cell phone?
9. What does modesty mean to you?
10.How are you being identified?
11.When there has been a crime the perpetrator is identified by what he wore, had or physical characteristics. Do you understand what profiling is?
12. Did you know that in some cities, groups of people are profiled by the car they drive, what they have on or the activities they participate?
13. Have you ever stop to think what defines you? Is it your character , your dress, or what you own?
14.What does God want to define us?
15. In the statements, association brings about assimilation, or you are define by your peer group, both equal in meaning; What do they mean to you?
Friday, July 27, 2007
Family Vacation Day 4 & 5
Day Four, Grand Prairie, Texas- The Wax Museum and Ripley's Believe It or Not &
Plano, Texas- Planet Pizza (Indoor pizza and amusement park)
We all got a little later start this morning. It was okay since we only had to travel to Grand Prairie. Our first stop was the wax museum. On the trip there I decided to do brain teaser. I read several famous quotes and we played a game to see who knew the answer. I also asked them about several inventions and who was the inventor. Each one of my kids as well as my husband really surprised me with their knowledge. It was great for boosting my confidence in continuing to read and expose them to things that sometimes seem above their heads. The kids are really listening and absorbing. I was pleased.
After the Grand Prairie trip we trekked across Dallas all the way to Plano, Texas for a visit to Planet Pizza. The children had visions from the Toy Story movie when Woody and Buzz went to Pizza Planet. They were very impressed when they saw all the indoor rides and video machines. We stayed there for more than three hours.
We called it a day with some Ben and Jerry's and headed back home.
Day Five, Dallas, Texas- Bahama Beach
Here was again, another perfect day for being outside ALLLLL Day loonnggg. After a relaxing lunch at Joe's Crab Shack we applied the sun block and headed to a nearby waterpark. All I can say is FUN, FUN, FUN. I have never played in so much water- all day long. Lots of slides and lazy floating in their lagoon.
We had so much fun that we left the park to come home and walk the dog only to return to park for a movie on the lawn. It was a pleasant experience for the whole family right here in our own "neck of the woods".
Summing it all up, this was a wonderful family vacation shared with the one's I love most. Friday came all too soon.
Plano, Texas- Planet Pizza (Indoor pizza and amusement park)
We all got a little later start this morning. It was okay since we only had to travel to Grand Prairie. Our first stop was the wax museum. On the trip there I decided to do brain teaser. I read several famous quotes and we played a game to see who knew the answer. I also asked them about several inventions and who was the inventor. Each one of my kids as well as my husband really surprised me with their knowledge. It was great for boosting my confidence in continuing to read and expose them to things that sometimes seem above their heads. The kids are really listening and absorbing. I was pleased.
After the Grand Prairie trip we trekked across Dallas all the way to Plano, Texas for a visit to Planet Pizza. The children had visions from the Toy Story movie when Woody and Buzz went to Pizza Planet. They were very impressed when they saw all the indoor rides and video machines. We stayed there for more than three hours.
We called it a day with some Ben and Jerry's and headed back home.
Day Five, Dallas, Texas- Bahama Beach
Here was again, another perfect day for being outside ALLLLL Day loonnggg. After a relaxing lunch at Joe's Crab Shack we applied the sun block and headed to a nearby waterpark. All I can say is FUN, FUN, FUN. I have never played in so much water- all day long. Lots of slides and lazy floating in their lagoon.
We had so much fun that we left the park to come home and walk the dog only to return to park for a movie on the lawn. It was a pleasant experience for the whole family right here in our own "neck of the woods".
Summing it all up, this was a wonderful family vacation shared with the one's I love most. Friday came all too soon.
Family Vacation- Days 3
Day three-Roanke, Texas- Heneritta Farms &
Fort Worth, Texas-FW Science Place and Museums
On day three we set out for a shorter road trip. It was only around one hour, just past Fort Worth. I had found an online farm with over 700 hybrid breeds of apple trees and some peaches. The apples were ready for picking. We had missed the peach picking season. I had planned to read more from "Paddle to the Sea" and our adventures in "20,000 leagues under the Sea"; however, my husband being moved by the Holy Spirit felt a deeper prompting and in the garage before pulling off he lead a mini study time covering our assurance of salvation. He read from Jude.
Since our daughter is getting baptized this Sunday, we go some good feedback from the younger two. Staying in the same vein, no fiction today, I read from a Bible storytime book that my daughter had brought for the road trip. The short story was about giving from your best, not the left over. Even our oldest participated during the question time. It was beautiful! We'll see if they, as well as us (dad and mom), remember this principle as time goes by.
The farm owners definitely practiced giving their best. They opened their land and cook house to us, perfect strangers. They taught us how to pick the apples without hurting the tree or being wasteful. Picking the apples and romping around on the farm was picture book quality. All three kids enjoyed looking for the just the right apples to pick. We saw famailiars like Galas and Granny Smiths and many, many hybrids. We were allowed to taste them right off the tree. They were delicious.
My husband told us stories of picking peaches in his grandmother's backyard. We were all mesmerized by God's nature all around the farm. We even learned that the loofa sponges we have in our bathrooms do not grow in the sea but actually grown on a tree. It was amazing to see the over foot long loofas hanging from an enormous tree that resembled pictures I'd created in my mind after reading Jack and the Beanstalk.
We then loaded our apples in the wagon in the back of the van and headed off to Fort Worth to visit the FW Science Museum which was featuring a Star Wars exhibit. It was a personal pick from my husband.
My husband took so many pictures in the Star Wars exhibit that he batteries ran low on the camera. My oldest son is so into the mechanics of how things work that he took right away to one of the stations set up to build a magnetic car. We all tried but naturally his was the only one to really work properly.
We finished up with a walk through the Cowgirl museum and lots of experiments with different accounts of perception. I think my husband and our oldest son enjoyed this one the more than the rest of us. I got dizzy around the third experiment.
We had a wonderful third day of our vacation at home.
Family Vacation Time- Days 1 & 2
The past four days have been filled with different adventures. This year's plan was to stay based at home and each day take a day trip to a different adventure in the big, vast state of Texas. This plan worked exceptionally well this year as it allow us to see our beloved golden retriever each day.
Day One: Grand Prairie, Texas- Six Flags over Texas
We have thanked God for the perfect, overcast day that we spent at Six Flags over Texas in Grand Prairie, Texas. We enjoyed the Marvel comic theme as well as the Looney Tunes characters. My husband relived days of his youth with our thirteen year old as they rode the Batman and Flashback. We all (except the thirteen year old- he didn't want to get wet) enjoyed most of the rides that get you good and wet. It's really the only way to do a theme park in a Texas summer.
I was really pleased that I had choosen to bring and read "Paddle to Sea" on our way to the theme park. So, when we rode the logs at Six Flags we all talked about being just like Paddle to the Sea in our log traveling the sea. It was a really proud homeschool moment to make the connection and have the kids use their imaginations.
We bypassed the burger and fries at the theme park and opted for a familiar taste with Panda Express. We were happy they added this favor to the park. We had a perfect day!!!
Day Two: Waco, Texas- Cameron Zoo and Dr. Pepper Museum
We were off today on a real driving trip. We mapped the trip on mapquest and it would take 1 1/2 hours to reach the zoo. We packed our food bag and our organic tea bottles for our drinks and the it seemed like we got there in no time.
The zoo was like none other that we had ever seen. There was a path that creatively took us though rainforests, marsh lands, sandy beaches and more. It was very real and kids made all sort of learning connections from their book knowledge to real life. They were so in to it all that we ditched the contents of our one of our many plastic ziplocs to start collecting "nature" as they called it. Yet another proud homeschool moment.
After the zoo visited the Dr. Pepper Museum that was real nostalgic for my husband and me. Since we are not soda drinkers, the real joy for our kids was when we got to drink soda floats at the small counter shop after our tour. The kids got to see a real well that when well to create a visual for stories that we have read.
I read the first chapter of "20,000 leagues under the Sea" on the way back and all of us, except my dear husband took a nap on the way back home.
Day One: Grand Prairie, Texas- Six Flags over Texas
We have thanked God for the perfect, overcast day that we spent at Six Flags over Texas in Grand Prairie, Texas. We enjoyed the Marvel comic theme as well as the Looney Tunes characters. My husband relived days of his youth with our thirteen year old as they rode the Batman and Flashback. We all (except the thirteen year old- he didn't want to get wet) enjoyed most of the rides that get you good and wet. It's really the only way to do a theme park in a Texas summer.
I was really pleased that I had choosen to bring and read "Paddle to Sea" on our way to the theme park. So, when we rode the logs at Six Flags we all talked about being just like Paddle to the Sea in our log traveling the sea. It was a really proud homeschool moment to make the connection and have the kids use their imaginations.
We bypassed the burger and fries at the theme park and opted for a familiar taste with Panda Express. We were happy they added this favor to the park. We had a perfect day!!!
Day Two: Waco, Texas- Cameron Zoo and Dr. Pepper Museum
We were off today on a real driving trip. We mapped the trip on mapquest and it would take 1 1/2 hours to reach the zoo. We packed our food bag and our organic tea bottles for our drinks and the it seemed like we got there in no time.
The zoo was like none other that we had ever seen. There was a path that creatively took us though rainforests, marsh lands, sandy beaches and more. It was very real and kids made all sort of learning connections from their book knowledge to real life. They were so in to it all that we ditched the contents of our one of our many plastic ziplocs to start collecting "nature" as they called it. Yet another proud homeschool moment.
After the zoo visited the Dr. Pepper Museum that was real nostalgic for my husband and me. Since we are not soda drinkers, the real joy for our kids was when we got to drink soda floats at the small counter shop after our tour. The kids got to see a real well that when well to create a visual for stories that we have read.
I read the first chapter of "20,000 leagues under the Sea" on the way back and all of us, except my dear husband took a nap on the way back home.
Why so many different math tools?
I was recently having an online conversation with someone from one of my many Yahoo groups and they asked me about possible overload from my choices of math tools for my thirteen year old son.
Our plan is to use Saxon grade level math:Algebra 1/2 along with "Keys" to fraction and decimals and some Math U See. The later two being primarly for review and remediation.
My reply:
I'm really not sure about the overload factor. I know we need to cover for mastering and recall.
The Algebra 1/2 starts off with similar review. I wanted to have different approaches to cover that review, just to be certain that I've offered different modes of learning styles to my son. We are still exploring how he learns best.
The small chunks from the Keys and hand-on from Math U See may be a break through for him to hit the Saxon textbook with added confidence.
We are learning that Homeschooling is a process with many different paths. It takes lots of prayer, willingness to try different, custom paths and lots of room for imagination/creativity from both the parent and child.
Previously, in my career life of mortgage banking, I've always told my team that I'm not looking to re-invent the wheel, but in this season of my life, I hold in the back of my mind the words of Robert Frost when he explained the less traveled path he took. He said, "...that has made all the difference."
As a mother of a thirteen year son who has not yet begun to imagine the possibilities of our learning days at home, I have to be the one uncovering the paths on the road. I do believe from listening to all of your journeys that one day he will pull me aside and say something like, "Mama, I really would like to try to learn this by doing it this way." Eureka!, I'm hopeful for his imagination and creativity.
I love listening and talking to you and others about the nature of homeschooling. I try to keep my mind wide open to piggy back on those things that may stimulate our homeschooling journey. Thank you for holding me accountable.
Our plan is to use Saxon grade level math:Algebra 1/2 along with "Keys" to fraction and decimals and some Math U See. The later two being primarly for review and remediation.
My reply:
I'm really not sure about the overload factor. I know we need to cover for mastering and recall.
The Algebra 1/2 starts off with similar review. I wanted to have different approaches to cover that review, just to be certain that I've offered different modes of learning styles to my son. We are still exploring how he learns best.
The small chunks from the Keys and hand-on from Math U See may be a break through for him to hit the Saxon textbook with added confidence.
We are learning that Homeschooling is a process with many different paths. It takes lots of prayer, willingness to try different, custom paths and lots of room for imagination/creativity from both the parent and child.
Previously, in my career life of mortgage banking, I've always told my team that I'm not looking to re-invent the wheel, but in this season of my life, I hold in the back of my mind the words of Robert Frost when he explained the less traveled path he took. He said, "...that has made all the difference."
As a mother of a thirteen year son who has not yet begun to imagine the possibilities of our learning days at home, I have to be the one uncovering the paths on the road. I do believe from listening to all of your journeys that one day he will pull me aside and say something like, "Mama, I really would like to try to learn this by doing it this way." Eureka!, I'm hopeful for his imagination and creativity.
I love listening and talking to you and others about the nature of homeschooling. I try to keep my mind wide open to piggy back on those things that may stimulate our homeschooling journey. Thank you for holding me accountable.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Memories, our belief system (Right or Wrong?)
Part 2
Our memories, a wicked self -preservation.
We spoke of a self - preservation that leaves one feeling rejected, vulnerable and discounted. This type of self' - preservation becomes unforgiving in relationships when one person's belief system, based on their memories and their right and wrong, are forced upon another. During this type of disharmony each one is waging memory against memory all in the name of right or wrong -- their own self-preservation.
Equally painful and discounting are the sneers, jeers and accusations of self seeking participants in this war of memories as they too use their own belief system for their own validation. It's the perfect crescendo, their chiming in to the existing disharmony, that will add fuel to each one's cause.
Memories - our belief system, is it right or wrong? A few self- examining questions could restore harmony.
1. Can my memory be confirmed in a tangible way by another or evidence?
2. Am I isolating my memory to empirical evidence alone, or am I using interpretation to form a memory?
If restorative actions are required after finding Biblical answers to the questions it is appropriate to seek or give forgiveness and restitution to a person's "personhood".
Enjoyed "self-preservation" can only by obtained in truth. "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32
Our memories, a wicked self -preservation.
We spoke of a self - preservation that leaves one feeling rejected, vulnerable and discounted. This type of self' - preservation becomes unforgiving in relationships when one person's belief system, based on their memories and their right and wrong, are forced upon another. During this type of disharmony each one is waging memory against memory all in the name of right or wrong -- their own self-preservation.
Equally painful and discounting are the sneers, jeers and accusations of self seeking participants in this war of memories as they too use their own belief system for their own validation. It's the perfect crescendo, their chiming in to the existing disharmony, that will add fuel to each one's cause.
Memories - our belief system, is it right or wrong? A few self- examining questions could restore harmony.
1. Can my memory be confirmed in a tangible way by another or evidence?
2. Am I isolating my memory to empirical evidence alone, or am I using interpretation to form a memory?
If restorative actions are required after finding Biblical answers to the questions it is appropriate to seek or give forgiveness and restitution to a person's "personhood".
Enjoyed "self-preservation" can only by obtained in truth. "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32
Memories, our belief system (Right or Wrong?)
Part 1
We all have been shaped by our genes, environment, past and convictions. Our molding is predicated on that belief system that formed from that shaping. We see our moldings from our belief system as right or wrong; albeit right or wrong.
From earlier on in our character formation we accept or reject those things from our lives and past and claim them as a part of our "personhood". I see this in my own children.
It's those aspects of our moldings that determines our memories. Yes, what we accept as right or wrong will be what defines us and what our memories are comprised. It is our memories that hold or define our pursuit for maintaining or claiming who we are. This too, I see in my own family. Please follow me on this.
When the memories that have been branded as our personal banner serve as our validation those aspects of our "personhood" becomes our reality. Those realities may be far from being validated and/ or it may be full of omissions by those who would know best. Nevertheless, we hold on to those memories as our own self-preservation. The funny thing about self-preservation is that everyone does it.
When driven on memories, many times within families this self-preservation creates disharmony. Furthermore, the case for preserving each one's personhood never preserves bilaterally. While one has victory in self-preservation; someone else is left with a unsettled resolve of not being validated, rejected, discounted and vulnerable. All for the sake of memories, what each has chosen to remember. Is it right or wrong?
We all have been shaped by our genes, environment, past and convictions. Our molding is predicated on that belief system that formed from that shaping. We see our moldings from our belief system as right or wrong; albeit right or wrong.
From earlier on in our character formation we accept or reject those things from our lives and past and claim them as a part of our "personhood". I see this in my own children.
It's those aspects of our moldings that determines our memories. Yes, what we accept as right or wrong will be what defines us and what our memories are comprised. It is our memories that hold or define our pursuit for maintaining or claiming who we are. This too, I see in my own family. Please follow me on this.
When the memories that have been branded as our personal banner serve as our validation those aspects of our "personhood" becomes our reality. Those realities may be far from being validated and/ or it may be full of omissions by those who would know best. Nevertheless, we hold on to those memories as our own self-preservation. The funny thing about self-preservation is that everyone does it.
When driven on memories, many times within families this self-preservation creates disharmony. Furthermore, the case for preserving each one's personhood never preserves bilaterally. While one has victory in self-preservation; someone else is left with a unsettled resolve of not being validated, rejected, discounted and vulnerable. All for the sake of memories, what each has chosen to remember. Is it right or wrong?
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Wheat Rolls - Yum, Yum
The smell that permeated throughout the house was delightful. It was the buttery, nutty smell of fresh baked wheat rolls. I found a recipe that immediately took the intimidation I felt about baking bread away. It said, "90 Minute Rolls". I thought, "I can do that".
I tweaked the recipe a bit by substituting the butter for olive oil and used whole wheat flour for the last 1/2 cup of flour. The changes worked out fine and the family loved the rolls.
Next time... I'll go for making a loaf.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Grace and Mercy
A Mediation and Motivation for today on God's Grace and Mercy
Ephesians 2:1-10
2:1 And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Today's motivation will be from meditation on God's Grace and Mercy.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Reminds me of Grandma - Cherry Tomatoes
I just picked a few cherry tomatoes today and they brought back my fond memories of MoMo's garden in Southeast Texas.
All the rain we've gotten here in Dallas was just what my cherry tomatoes ordered. The tomatoes plants are more full than before of yellow flowers and nice promising tiny, green tomatoes.
The taste of fresh picked tomatoes are indescribable. But, I'll try. The color was a deep red that only hinted of the soft ripeness that held it all together. I remember all the rows of tomatoes plants my Grandmother tended to along side of fence by a once used clothes line. They were always painted the deepest red and just bursting of ripeness.
My small boxed garden is just that, small, when compared to the tomatoes, okra and all sorts of peppers that my Grandma, MoMo would plant in her garden each year. I love to look out of my kitchen window and remember times of looking out of my MoMo's kitchen window at her garden and the family's big pecan tree that stood tall and strong yielding bowl after bowl of giant pecans. I think MoMo would be proud of me with my small garden.
As I tasted the soft, tiny, red cherry tomatoes it brought back so many happy, large and colorful memories of MoMo - and her garden.
All the rain we've gotten here in Dallas was just what my cherry tomatoes ordered. The tomatoes plants are more full than before of yellow flowers and nice promising tiny, green tomatoes.
The taste of fresh picked tomatoes are indescribable. But, I'll try. The color was a deep red that only hinted of the soft ripeness that held it all together. I remember all the rows of tomatoes plants my Grandmother tended to along side of fence by a once used clothes line. They were always painted the deepest red and just bursting of ripeness.
My small boxed garden is just that, small, when compared to the tomatoes, okra and all sorts of peppers that my Grandma, MoMo would plant in her garden each year. I love to look out of my kitchen window and remember times of looking out of my MoMo's kitchen window at her garden and the family's big pecan tree that stood tall and strong yielding bowl after bowl of giant pecans. I think MoMo would be proud of me with my small garden.
As I tasted the soft, tiny, red cherry tomatoes it brought back so many happy, large and colorful memories of MoMo - and her garden.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Jehovah Jireh - My Provider
Genesis 22:14 introduces the name of God as being a provider. God is shown as being a provider to Abraham when he was faithful and took his son Isaac up to the mountains to be a sacrifice. That place was named Jehovah Jireh because it was where a God provided a sacrifice.
It was this passage that I awoke with in my heart as an answer to a conversation I had had with a friend just yesterday. As a result of an unfortunate job circumstance my friend was informing me that she and her husband would not be able to use my preschool services for their child. In my trying to encourage her in her situation and well as me in my own family's financial hardship that this unfortunate circumstance had created, I quoted to her, "When the Lord closes one door another will open". To put it another way, God is Jehovah Jireh- My provider.
Now this statement I made was not setting well inside and by the time that I had awaken the Holy Spirit had created in me a desire to find biblical truth to what I had said. Now being biblically correct is always important since a person's relationship with God as their Savior is not always known or evident. I knew that my encouragement should always point to God. I was not sure that I had done that.
I looked in the concordance in the back of my bible for the words where "door, open, close" were used and I found nothing in that context. I thought of stories from the bible that demonstrated this statement that I had quoted and the one story that I remembered was from Genesis 22:1-14. It was the story where Abraham took Isaac to the mountains to sacrifice him. Abraham believed by faith that God would have both he and Isaac return down the mountain after the sacrifice. Now that's faith. It was when Abraham had drawn his knife for the sacrifice that he heard the tugging of a ram in the caught in the bushes. It was a ram that God provided for the sacrifice. It was a moment of faith and testing. It was a moment that God revealed Himself as Abraham's provider.
After remembering the story I planned to read it in my bible after my daily devotion- "Drawing Near" by John MacArthur. I preceded to my devotion dated June 29th and there it was. A whole devotion on "Enjoying Friendship with God" with a Further Study section leading to the book of Genesis 22:1-19. The Holy Spirit could not have spoken to me more clearer.
So, today when my friend brings over my precious little preschool student for her last day, I will be prepared to share a biblical perspective on the unfortunate circumstance that effects both of our families. I will able to encourage the both of us with the beautiful illustration of God truly closing one door and opening another.
I can truly say that God does work everything for good for those that love Him- Romans 8:28.
It was because if this unfortunate circumstance that revealed God's constant love and care for us. He truly gives us all we need, at the time we need it most.
It was this passage that I awoke with in my heart as an answer to a conversation I had had with a friend just yesterday. As a result of an unfortunate job circumstance my friend was informing me that she and her husband would not be able to use my preschool services for their child. In my trying to encourage her in her situation and well as me in my own family's financial hardship that this unfortunate circumstance had created, I quoted to her, "When the Lord closes one door another will open". To put it another way, God is Jehovah Jireh- My provider.
Now this statement I made was not setting well inside and by the time that I had awaken the Holy Spirit had created in me a desire to find biblical truth to what I had said. Now being biblically correct is always important since a person's relationship with God as their Savior is not always known or evident. I knew that my encouragement should always point to God. I was not sure that I had done that.
I looked in the concordance in the back of my bible for the words where "door, open, close" were used and I found nothing in that context. I thought of stories from the bible that demonstrated this statement that I had quoted and the one story that I remembered was from Genesis 22:1-14. It was the story where Abraham took Isaac to the mountains to sacrifice him. Abraham believed by faith that God would have both he and Isaac return down the mountain after the sacrifice. Now that's faith. It was when Abraham had drawn his knife for the sacrifice that he heard the tugging of a ram in the caught in the bushes. It was a ram that God provided for the sacrifice. It was a moment of faith and testing. It was a moment that God revealed Himself as Abraham's provider.
After remembering the story I planned to read it in my bible after my daily devotion- "Drawing Near" by John MacArthur. I preceded to my devotion dated June 29th and there it was. A whole devotion on "Enjoying Friendship with God" with a Further Study section leading to the book of Genesis 22:1-19. The Holy Spirit could not have spoken to me more clearer.
So, today when my friend brings over my precious little preschool student for her last day, I will be prepared to share a biblical perspective on the unfortunate circumstance that effects both of our families. I will able to encourage the both of us with the beautiful illustration of God truly closing one door and opening another.
I can truly say that God does work everything for good for those that love Him- Romans 8:28.
It was because if this unfortunate circumstance that revealed God's constant love and care for us. He truly gives us all we need, at the time we need it most.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Dumplings and Tortillas
I did it. Yes, with the help of my kids - we did it. Last night we tried our hand at Chicken and Dumpling using an online copycat version. We simplified it quite a bit by using chicken breast and a little cornstarch to thicken. The kids enjoyed cutting the strips of dough and preparing the dinner.
My mother in love (my husband's mother) absolutely loves chicken and dumpling so it was only natural to prepare a little care package for my husband to drop of to her on the way to work. I called her and she was raving about how good it was.
In return, she sent us one of her specialities - a strawberry on strawberry double layer cake. Oh my, it was delicious. Okay, I did cut it tonight. I'll share with the kids tomorrow.
And then there were the home-made tortillas we made tonight. We were going to stop with just buttered tortillas and a salad but the inspiration was there so we rolled out a full Mexican fare with ground turkey enchiladas, cream cheese black beans mixed with sweet corn and couscous. I did make the salad but in the end we forgot to add it to the table. Well, we'll have it tomorrow.
What are you eating?
If knowing what's in the food you give to your family is a concern here is a a food fact site that's worth looking into.
Since last October we have made major changes in our food purchases and the information on this site, Am. Cancer Society and others of the like really influenced our thoughts on what we were eating. It was last October that we experienced a diagnosis of cancer in our family.
Changing our diet was actually easy, just pricey. The real family challenge has been the exercise factor.
Just take a look at your basic wieners.
Since last October we have made major changes in our food purchases and the information on this site, Am. Cancer Society and others of the like really influenced our thoughts on what we were eating. It was last October that we experienced a diagnosis of cancer in our family.
Changing our diet was actually easy, just pricey. The real family challenge has been the exercise factor.
Just take a look at your basic wieners.
Monday, June 25, 2007
A Mother's Ultimate Pain
It's like the anticipated impact of a car spinning out of control toward you on a rainy day. You can feel the burden of the impact in your chest as all the motions, though quick, seem to be moving in slow motion. Your heart pounds in against your chest. The full impact of car has not yet been felt, but you can see, and therefore you mentally and physically brace yourself for the excruiating pain that is forthcoming.
A mother's pain is like that spinning car. All the feelings and emotions are real as your stomach slowly starts to knot up into a thousand balls and your body wanes from the emotional turmoil. Your day vasilates between an operational reality and nonfunctional numbness as you ponder how could your child reject everything you have taught them.
You recount the days when you first felt a flutter in your stomach. That was a welcomed flutter; unlike the knots and numbness you now feel. You ask yourself over and over again, "How could this be happening". It's not death in the true sense of the word, but all the same it is a loss.
I'm referring to the loss of a relationship between a mother and her child. I do believe that as with death it is a mother's ultimate pain. It's a pain that afflicts many during the course of parenting. It's a pain that not many wish to talk about. It's a pain that only the Father above can take away.
Scriptural mediation during this time of growth are: Luke 15:24 (For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found), Proverbs 22:6 (Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it), Psalm 147:3 (He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds).
A mother's pain is like that spinning car. All the feelings and emotions are real as your stomach slowly starts to knot up into a thousand balls and your body wanes from the emotional turmoil. Your day vasilates between an operational reality and nonfunctional numbness as you ponder how could your child reject everything you have taught them.
You recount the days when you first felt a flutter in your stomach. That was a welcomed flutter; unlike the knots and numbness you now feel. You ask yourself over and over again, "How could this be happening". It's not death in the true sense of the word, but all the same it is a loss.
I'm referring to the loss of a relationship between a mother and her child. I do believe that as with death it is a mother's ultimate pain. It's a pain that afflicts many during the course of parenting. It's a pain that not many wish to talk about. It's a pain that only the Father above can take away.
Scriptural mediation during this time of growth are: Luke 15:24 (For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found), Proverbs 22:6 (Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it), Psalm 147:3 (He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds).
Sunday, June 24, 2007
A Parent's Toolbox
As as parent of a teenager, 2nd grader and preschooler, I've discovered
that affirmation is a powerful tool in the parent's toolbox. In
retrospect I've also realized that I missed many opportunities to use
my affirmation tool in the early years of my teenager.
A child receives affirmation in complete subtlety; our simple nod of approval suggest acceptance and belonging. Conversely, our lack of affirmation, that simple nod for an effort put forth, never shows up subtly, but instead, usually as a defiance.
As of late, I've learned to look at every bug caught, stroke of color on a
scratch sheet of paper and give undivided attention to the little one
calling me. Using that tool of affirmation is my investment into their
self confidence. It builds their self esteem.
And with any project requiring tools for assembly and adjustments, using my tool of affirmation is never too late when the assembly has been completed, but due to time and wear and tear, my project now requires adjustments. So, as a repairman that comes with tools in hand, my goal is for a completed project, lacking in nothing. I'm encouraged to refocus, refine and restore the loss of self confidence created from missed opportunities of not utilizing my tools properly or timely.
How to affirm? Some ideas or areas to use your tools:
1. Make time to attend activities in which your child participates.
2. Acknowledge your child's effort, even if the job was not done to your liking.
3. Set time aside each day to spend with each child - even if it's only 5 minutes.
4. Enjoy something with your child that they like doing.
5. Listen to their endless talk and ask non-judging questions or interject often.
that affirmation is a powerful tool in the parent's toolbox. In
retrospect I've also realized that I missed many opportunities to use
my affirmation tool in the early years of my teenager.
A child receives affirmation in complete subtlety; our simple nod of approval suggest acceptance and belonging. Conversely, our lack of affirmation, that simple nod for an effort put forth, never shows up subtly, but instead, usually as a defiance.
As of late, I've learned to look at every bug caught, stroke of color on a
scratch sheet of paper and give undivided attention to the little one
calling me. Using that tool of affirmation is my investment into their
self confidence. It builds their self esteem.
And with any project requiring tools for assembly and adjustments, using my tool of affirmation is never too late when the assembly has been completed, but due to time and wear and tear, my project now requires adjustments. So, as a repairman that comes with tools in hand, my goal is for a completed project, lacking in nothing. I'm encouraged to refocus, refine and restore the loss of self confidence created from missed opportunities of not utilizing my tools properly or timely.
How to affirm? Some ideas or areas to use your tools:
1. Make time to attend activities in which your child participates.
2. Acknowledge your child's effort, even if the job was not done to your liking.
3. Set time aside each day to spend with each child - even if it's only 5 minutes.
4. Enjoy something with your child that they like doing.
5. Listen to their endless talk and ask non-judging questions or interject often.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Tomatoes Please
I purchased 4 cherry tomato plants about eight weeks ago and today I
noticed 4 cherry tomatoes on one of them. Weeks of watering, directing
it's growth pattern and waiting finally showed the fruit of my labor. I
felt as thrilled as a kid just learning to ride a bicycle without
training wheels or a parent holding the seat.
Seeing the tiny tomatoes made me want to be more diligent in my watering,
directing and waiting. It was only a couple of days ago that I looked
from my kitchen window and saw what looked like at least 50 tiny yellow
flower buds offering hope of what was to come. Come, albeit very slow.
So slow that I said to myself, "Why bother". Why bother because the
process seemed so slow.
But, today is a different story. I have all forgotten my earlier disappointment of not seeing the actual tomato and am now feeling like Farmer Brown. In the next few days I'll do more watering, redirecting, organic fertilizing and debugging along with waiting. Hopeful waiting - because I've seen the fruit.
In parenting, though, the fruit does not always show up so soon. I mean, I wished
that I could see my children bearing fruit after only eight weeks of feeding, both physically and spiritually and directing their growth. Truth is, sometimes we don't see their fruit for years to come. But as with the yellow flowers on the tomato plant, holding promises yet to come, I do have God's promise of Proverbs 22:6 that says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it". NASB
So, I'll keep watering, redirecting and waiting for both the tomatoes and my children to show fruit because in both, I have been given hope.
noticed 4 cherry tomatoes on one of them. Weeks of watering, directing
it's growth pattern and waiting finally showed the fruit of my labor. I
felt as thrilled as a kid just learning to ride a bicycle without
training wheels or a parent holding the seat.
Seeing the tiny tomatoes made me want to be more diligent in my watering,
directing and waiting. It was only a couple of days ago that I looked
from my kitchen window and saw what looked like at least 50 tiny yellow
flower buds offering hope of what was to come. Come, albeit very slow.
So slow that I said to myself, "Why bother". Why bother because the
process seemed so slow.
But, today is a different story. I have all forgotten my earlier disappointment of not seeing the actual tomato and am now feeling like Farmer Brown. In the next few days I'll do more watering, redirecting, organic fertilizing and debugging along with waiting. Hopeful waiting - because I've seen the fruit.
In parenting, though, the fruit does not always show up so soon. I mean, I wished
that I could see my children bearing fruit after only eight weeks of feeding, both physically and spiritually and directing their growth. Truth is, sometimes we don't see their fruit for years to come. But as with the yellow flowers on the tomato plant, holding promises yet to come, I do have God's promise of Proverbs 22:6 that says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it". NASB
So, I'll keep watering, redirecting and waiting for both the tomatoes and my children to show fruit because in both, I have been given hope.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Sagging Pants and Hip Hop
The last two days have been intense to say the least. What in a person's right mind would allow them to go against all codes of decency and self-respect to want to wear Saggy pants. Boundaries have long been set in our home, but with the Summer visitation of my teenage nephew , my son must have had a case of amnesia when he put his clothes on this morning. Not that he needed any motivation to be defiant, it just gave a little oxygen to what has been smothering underneath.
Now, let me not paint a sordid picture of my nephew, he is very respectful, sweet young man. He takes AP classes, makes good grades, is on the football team and makes friends easily. He just happens to have that teenage problem of wanting to fit in, and in today's culture that means that he "sags". Oh, he wears Tall T's to cover it up, but it's still sagging to me. I mean, why could he just not roll one pant leg up, wear different color socks or the starched Levi's, an Oxford shirt with Penny loafers, like we did- those were true fads.
I'm convinced that this sagging thing is not just a fad, but instead, it's a totally affront to modesty, parental boundaries and just plain common sense. It is so powerful that it has branded the Hip Hop sub-culture as the only "dope" dress fare for the really cool or "baaadd".
It's more than just a fad, when in just about any city you can be pulled over by the police, "profiled" for what use to based on ethnicity, but now includes clothing attire. I have done my research here. My husband and I spoke with a police officer, on their beat, with our son while we were doing some shopping. We wanted our son to know how ethnicity, one's company and dress all play together in the eyes of the law. The police shared with our son, better than we could have ever tried to, how they "spot" out possible problem situations. The precursor was almost always how they were dressed or the combination of colors they were wearing. The Tall T's (some language) that my nephew obliviously wears, and my son desires to wear are known for concealing weapons or "five finger discounted" goods. Yes, I do say , it's more than a fad.
Be it an ill thought out fashion statement, my opinion, or as claimed by manufacturers, a result "social economics", it is not what we, as parents, desire of the young in our home to wear.
So, where do we go from here? Ideally I would think mass letters, emails or phone calls would be a good start. My research has determined that they are too large to respond to letters, emails or phone calls. No, that would not work. But, if we as parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends stopped giving these things as gifts or stopped allowing those that we love to buy these things we would be off to a much better start, with a greater economic impact. I feel we are as much to blame in the degrading of our young men as the manufacturers. For too long we have resigned to throwing up our hands and talking to the backsides of our young men as they walk away from our sound judgement. It has to start with us; start with code of dress for our families. We have got to set the boundaries and not cower down and allow those boundaries to erased by the culture.
Some things that may be helpful to ask your children in rhetorical questions or as interactive questions may start like this:
1. Where can you wear sagging pants after graduation?
2. Have you ever thought that someone could come and pull your pants to your ankles?
3. How do you like the stereotype that your sagging brings?; What are the stereotypes?
4. Is sagging okay if you have a tall T to cover the sagging?
5. Who do you think would be hired at a bank, Pepsi cola, Frito Lay, Walmart, Lowes, you, sagging or another boy your age, wearing fitted clothes?
6. How do feel wearing a fashion that originated as prison clothes with a definite gay connotation?
7. Did you know that you cannot enter a court room with saggy pants?
8. What gives you your self esteem? clothes, cell phone?
9. What does modesty mean to you?
10.How are you being identified?
11.When there has been a crime the perpetrator is identified by what he wore, had or physical characteristics. Do you understand what profiling is?
12. Did you know that in some cities, groups of people are profiled by the car they drive, what they have on or the activities they participate?
13. Have you ever stop to think what defines you? Is it your character , your dress, or what you own?
14.What does God want to define us?
15. In the statements, association brings about assimilation, or you are define by your peer group, both equal in meaning; What do they mean to you?
Now, let me not paint a sordid picture of my nephew, he is very respectful, sweet young man. He takes AP classes, makes good grades, is on the football team and makes friends easily. He just happens to have that teenage problem of wanting to fit in, and in today's culture that means that he "sags". Oh, he wears Tall T's to cover it up, but it's still sagging to me. I mean, why could he just not roll one pant leg up, wear different color socks or the starched Levi's, an Oxford shirt with Penny loafers, like we did- those were true fads.
I'm convinced that this sagging thing is not just a fad, but instead, it's a totally affront to modesty, parental boundaries and just plain common sense. It is so powerful that it has branded the Hip Hop sub-culture as the only "dope" dress fare for the really cool or "baaadd".
It's more than just a fad, when in just about any city you can be pulled over by the police, "profiled" for what use to based on ethnicity, but now includes clothing attire. I have done my research here. My husband and I spoke with a police officer, on their beat, with our son while we were doing some shopping. We wanted our son to know how ethnicity, one's company and dress all play together in the eyes of the law. The police shared with our son, better than we could have ever tried to, how they "spot" out possible problem situations. The precursor was almost always how they were dressed or the combination of colors they were wearing. The Tall T's (some language) that my nephew obliviously wears, and my son desires to wear are known for concealing weapons or "five finger discounted" goods. Yes, I do say , it's more than a fad.
Be it an ill thought out fashion statement, my opinion, or as claimed by manufacturers, a result "social economics", it is not what we, as parents, desire of the young in our home to wear.
So, where do we go from here? Ideally I would think mass letters, emails or phone calls would be a good start. My research has determined that they are too large to respond to letters, emails or phone calls. No, that would not work. But, if we as parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends stopped giving these things as gifts or stopped allowing those that we love to buy these things we would be off to a much better start, with a greater economic impact. I feel we are as much to blame in the degrading of our young men as the manufacturers. For too long we have resigned to throwing up our hands and talking to the backsides of our young men as they walk away from our sound judgement. It has to start with us; start with code of dress for our families. We have got to set the boundaries and not cower down and allow those boundaries to erased by the culture.
Some things that may be helpful to ask your children in rhetorical questions or as interactive questions may start like this:
1. Where can you wear sagging pants after graduation?
2. Have you ever thought that someone could come and pull your pants to your ankles?
3. How do you like the stereotype that your sagging brings?; What are the stereotypes?
4. Is sagging okay if you have a tall T to cover the sagging?
5. Who do you think would be hired at a bank, Pepsi cola, Frito Lay, Walmart, Lowes, you, sagging or another boy your age, wearing fitted clothes?
6. How do feel wearing a fashion that originated as prison clothes with a definite gay connotation?
7. Did you know that you cannot enter a court room with saggy pants?
8. What gives you your self esteem? clothes, cell phone?
9. What does modesty mean to you?
10.How are you being identified?
11.When there has been a crime the perpetrator is identified by what he wore, had or physical characteristics. Do you understand what profiling is?
12. Did you know that in some cities, groups of people are profiled by the car they drive, what they have on or the activities they participate?
13. Have you ever stop to think what defines you? Is it your character , your dress, or what you own?
14.What does God want to define us?
15. In the statements, association brings about assimilation, or you are define by your peer group, both equal in meaning; What do they mean to you?
Monday, June 11, 2007
Honoring Your Husband on Father's Day
"Mmmm" Carrot cake is his favorite. When I was growing up it seemed that finances were always an issue, but we could always anticipate our favorite dish on our birthday. Why not honor your husband with his favorite cake on Father's Day. The artofcookies has the best tasting Carrot Cake around Dallas, Texas, ask for Artherene. Get your orders in before Father's Day.
Other notable things that reflect honor on Father's Day could be simply allowing your husband to have a "day off". Letting him have a day without a "honey do" list or any expectations from us can create a refreshed feeling in your husband.
With many plans great expectations often follow. Many times when we plan the "perfect" day for our spouses it creates a sense of unfulfillment for us, that also translates to them, when responses or things don't follow the plan. So let Fathers Day be a day with no expectations placed your husband. I'm sure if the truth be known, and they would tell us, we would find out that an incredible amount of expectations are intrinsically felt by them merely based on gender only.
A handwritten note of affection and appreciation could capture our appreciation and respect for him. Keeping in mind that it is Father's Day, help the kids also write out or draw pictures reflecting their affection and appreciation for Dad. We have created our own cards by recycling cute images from other cards we have gotten throughout the year.
This are all such simple ways to make Fathers Day special for your husband. But, giving daily respect probably tops the the list. When we respect our husbands on a daily basis it makes honoring him on Father's Day seem like a piece of cake:)
Other notable things that reflect honor on Father's Day could be simply allowing your husband to have a "day off". Letting him have a day without a "honey do" list or any expectations from us can create a refreshed feeling in your husband.
With many plans great expectations often follow. Many times when we plan the "perfect" day for our spouses it creates a sense of unfulfillment for us, that also translates to them, when responses or things don't follow the plan. So let Fathers Day be a day with no expectations placed your husband. I'm sure if the truth be known, and they would tell us, we would find out that an incredible amount of expectations are intrinsically felt by them merely based on gender only.
A handwritten note of affection and appreciation could capture our appreciation and respect for him. Keeping in mind that it is Father's Day, help the kids also write out or draw pictures reflecting their affection and appreciation for Dad. We have created our own cards by recycling cute images from other cards we have gotten throughout the year.
This are all such simple ways to make Fathers Day special for your husband. But, giving daily respect probably tops the the list. When we respect our husbands on a daily basis it makes honoring him on Father's Day seem like a piece of cake:)
© 2007 Cynthia Smith
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Everybody Knows Little Johnny
Little Johnny raced by bumping into me softly, but bumping just the same. He was apologetic. I thought he meant it. Little Johnny passed by me again, still hurriedly, still bumping into me. He again was quite apologetic. I dismissed the clumsiness. I dismissed his apparent lack of learning from his previous experience. After all, he said he was sorry.
... Little Johnny is now much bigger and much older. Wow! Big Johnny just raced by bumping into me softly, but bumping just the same. He was apologetic. I thought he meant it. Big Johnny passed by me again, still hurriedly again bumping into me. He again was quite apologetic.
Little Johnny is much like the Somebody we all know. We all know Somebody. Somebody will always test our patience because of their lack of learning.
Dear
Lord, I prayed for Big Johnny, Somebody and me. I prayed for
all the times your grace and mercy covered Big Johnny, Somebody and me
when we fail to learn from previous experiences. When our remembrances fail to recall your patience and faithfulness toward us despite our shortcomings.
Big Johnny, Somebody and me could really use that prayer.
... Little Johnny is now much bigger and much older. Wow! Big Johnny just raced by bumping into me softly, but bumping just the same. He was apologetic. I thought he meant it. Big Johnny passed by me again, still hurriedly again bumping into me. He again was quite apologetic.
Little Johnny is much like the Somebody we all know. We all know Somebody. Somebody will always test our patience because of their lack of learning.
Dear
Lord, I prayed for Big Johnny, Somebody and me. I prayed for
all the times your grace and mercy covered Big Johnny, Somebody and me
when we fail to learn from previous experiences. When our remembrances fail to recall your patience and faithfulness toward us despite our shortcomings.
Big Johnny, Somebody and me could really use that prayer.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Welcome
It's not a coincidence. I truly believe you were meant to be here. Thank you for spending some time with me discovering the small but important things. In this blog I share my thoughts on family, friends, trials and triumphs. You will find links and thoughts that are dear to my heart as I grow daily in being a Godly wife, mother, daughter, grand-daughter, sister, home school novice and friend.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Can I help you lint?
If there ever was a time that you knew exactly what you wanted to do as well as knowing what the affect of your actions would produce it was definitely expressed by my 4 year old. Everyone in our household has a specific chore on specific days. This particular day was not my youngest child's day to "lint" but he wanted to. "Mama, can I help you lint?", he asked. In which I replied, "Help me do what?", I asked. "Lint, Mama", he said again eagerly and somewhat confused that I didn't know what he meant. His last attempt to explain it to me made it perfectly clear. "You know when you get the towel and put that stuff on it and wipe the furniture". Oh, yes. He wanted to dust!
It struck me as funny and quirky that the very thing he wanted to do was actually expressed or requested by him as the thing he wanted to get rid of. He wanted to "lint". All my visions saw him whipping a dusting towel around depositing more harm than good with his "linting" technique.
That then made me think of our attempts, yours and mine, to fix a problem or "straighten someone out" all to our dismay that we did not accomplish what we set out to do. I can think of one time to illustrate what I'm saying.
It was in Ms. Meyers' first grade class that we had just completed the reading of a story and now had to be creative and draw a picture of what the story was about. Well, no one at my table felt very creative and I, being the helper that I am, began to draw picture after picture of cows and other animals. I believe it may have been 5 of so pictures. Just as my younger son, I to was too eager to provide help.
What I didn't realize was that my help really would not help my classmates in the long run. We were attempting to comprehend oral stories and following directions.
My "helping", as with my son's "linting", could never be effective.
Is there a cloud of lint floating around you in all your attempts to help a situation?
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